Ah D, another month, another failure! Missed my workout last night, no excuses, just too damn lazy. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK! I just can’t shake this loser status D. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!

I’ve been having these really lucid dreams lately D. Last night, it was walking around my old neighborhood with Hugh Hefner. A youngish Hugh Hefner, not the dried out, dirty old man of today. We walked around the hood, just shootin’ the shit, until we came to his limo. He quickly got in and when I opened the door to say so long, there was the dried up, dirty old man of today, bent over, wheezing. His driver then thanked me for hanging out with him and they were off.

A few night’s ago, it was battling hyenas and a coyote. The coyote was out numbered and died a horrible death at the jaws of the two hyenas. It was at a friend’s house but the “friend” and the house were unfamiliar to me.

Both dreams were in full blown color, unusual for me, but not unheard of. Of course, two color dreams in the same week is unusual and the fact they were only a couple days apart is even more strange D.

Fucking weird ass shit D. Crazy. Weird.  Ass. Shit.

Hey D, remember when I was starting my workouts this week? Yeah, about that. Of course, I’m not defeated yet, just temporarily set back. Good news is, it’s a new month and I can start fresh today.

The only question is: WILL I?

Once again, I’ve failed to keep my workouts going. Nothing new there, right D? It’s okay though, I’ve only missed one week and am scheduled to begin again starting today. I’m not worried, I’m not terribly down on myself about it, and I’m looking forward to moving ahead.

God damn D! That sounds almost like positive mental thinking! The world must be coming to an end if I’m doing that!

Religion is just a LIE…..

Priest arrested after being found nude from waist down at adult book store. He is risen

Don’t do as I do, do as I tell you!

BULLSHIT!

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’m doing waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much livin’ in the past.

And the hits just keep on coming D. At least for CG they do, and via proxy to us. On top of the anxiety she’s been dealing with, one of her suite mates at school was killed in an accident over the weekend. It’s a fucking nightmare D and it just won’t stop.

Well, I’ve gone and done it. I’ve passed along a death sentence, at least for one’s mental health. CG is having some serious depression and anxiety issues this semester. Thanks to her dear, old dad. ME! What a great gift huh D? DAMN IT! I’ve fucked it up all over again. Should have known it and done myself in when I had the chance. Too damn late now. FUCK!

Yep, that’d be me…..

Was angry on the way in to work today. Don’t know why, nothing really set me off. I did manage to nip it in the bud though. I just told myself to shut up, relax and just let the day flow on. So far, so good.

HAPPY Friday the 13th D! It’s a GREAT day to be alive!

Got our first measurable snow last night D. Two hour drive home. WOO HOO! I did expect it though so I was calm throughout the ride home. Typical first big snow of the year leads to typical dipshit drivers out on the road. Lots of spin outs and off road adventures for folks. Dumbasses!

No big plans for the weekend D. Should be another quiet one spent around the house.

Oh, before I forget, even though it took two hours to get home last night, I still did my workout. In the past, I would have begged off and not done it but I did it! COOL! I’m certainly feeling it today, or maybe it’s from the snow blowing and shoveling from this morning. How’s that John Mellancamp song to? “You make it hurt so good?”

Later D.